wow its been 2 years since my last entry.

anyone wishing to seee my blogs (if i ever), pls visit http://jjaeyin.spaces.live.com

GOODBYE XANGAAAAAAAAAA

"its hard to help others, when you haven't helped yourself first"

props to my new great BIC, jeffy, for giving me those wise words. its great to know there are some ppl out there in this sick sad world who understand. and follow with me. we can only have faith that the others will someday see and feel too.

myc should lift me up. 5days of 100% 24/7 devotion. wat a blessing. ur missing out if ur not coming. but there's more than a lifetime ahead if u choose that path. eternity mate, eternity.

why do ppl misunderstand things ? am i misunderstanding something now? so am i to blame now? who takes the blame? i dont get this..i dont want anyone to take the blame..

i dunno wat to say....

life rite now is not wat i want it to be, i must say..

maybe i just think too much.

but i dont want to.

plz accept each other for who u are. there's no need to get pissed.

sometimes it really hurts uno. it really hurts when someone u care bout is hurting. it really hurts when it seems like watever u do, they're still hurting. it really hurts that they're trying to push away and ignore the probs in their life, just becuz it hurts them. they really need to deal with it, and they have the frends to help them, but they still just dont get it. they just keep on hurting themselves and the ones around them. not intentionally. not becuz its their fault. that's why it hurts. it hurts cuz they're beautiful people and yet they seem to be self-destructive. they expect too much from other ppl and in doing so, are blind to wat they should be doing for others. someitmes ur the only one they have, ur the only one who really show u care, ur the only one who stays til the end, and yet they just let out all their anger, become all defensive, tell u to "FUCKING GO AWAY"...

so wat do i do now? do i f'n go away? that's not in my nature tho. its not in my nature to just ignore the prob, to "get over it" and"move on" . that's not me. and i thought they loved me and accepted that part of me.

you can't just act happy 24/7 100%of the time. you can't just ignore ur problems and put on a happy face to all who are around you. that's why we've got friends. we've got friends who are there for us during good times and bad. not ONLY for the good times you noe?

i really hope she noes....i hope she does...i really hope she noes i care. and that she noes taht im not angry at her. im just a bit hurt. but forgiving.

and i hope that's her definition of a frend too.

HSC IS FINISHED.

MY LIFE BEGINS.

AND I THANK GOD I CAN SHARE IT WITH MY LOVELY LADIES - yanan, marie, glady, minju, linda, linda, zina. I LOVE YOU GUYS.